Executive Presence eTips
by Paul Aldo, Ph.D.

Fourth Quarter, 2007

Welcome to the new quarterly eTips format.  The reason for the new format is to broaden my executive presence advice and to promote more reader interactivity.  To do this the new format includes four sections.

• The Reading List, always with recommendations and sometimes with in-depth reviews
• Q&A, to address your questions about executive presence
• Advice, which will offer both longer and shorter tips to help with development actions
• This and That, to call your attention to noteworthy items

Please let me know what you think of the new format.  And don’t forget to continue sending me your thoughts on executive presence and your questions about it. 

On the top of this quarter’s reading list is Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzer.  Anyone who has participated in one of my Executive Presence Workshops is already familiar with it.  I’m highlighting it here because it is the most practical book I’ve every read on what we can do to manage our conversations more effectively and make them more productive.  In addition to providing some great conceptual clarity around how and why conversations go bad, the authors also provide several great examples of nonproductive conversations and what, specifically, could have been said to make those conversations more successful.  I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to improve the ability to be more effective when conversing with others, especially when there is tension in the air. 

A second recommendation is another book that my workshop participants are familiar with but a good read for those not familiar with it and one worth mentioning to everyone again.  The book is Lions Don't Need to Roar by Deborah Benton.  Although written in 1993, the book still contains smart and up-to-date advice on what is and is not appropriate executive behavior in a variety of situations.  It’s basic but excellent advice highlighting the simple things we need to do well every day. 

Here’s an important book that I’ve not recommended before.  It’s Getting Things Done by David Allen.  David is a personal productivity guru that has been doing productivity consulting and coaching for over twenty years.  His approach is innovative and his book is up-to-date and packed with practical advice for managing your work and life more productively and with far less stress.  I recommend it without qualification, especially for those whose poise suffers from the stress brought on by a lack of personal organization and control.   

A:  Theoretically, executive presence is exactly the same for women as it is for men, if the nine expressive dimensions of executive presence are used to judge it.  That’s because the nine dimensions provide both an objective and gender-neutral standard for creating executive presence.  Those who do a good job of modeling the nine dimensions exhibit similar interpersonal behaviors – regardless of gender – that combine to create a commanding but balanced leadership style. For more information on the nine dimensions, click on the articles link, then click on my article “So What is Executive Presence Again?”

That said, the practical problem most women face is not using (or even knowing about) a gender-neutral standard for modeling executive presence.  In the absence of such a standard, women often default to copying the behavior of successful men.  The problem this creates for women, simply put, has to do with the difference in the way male and female roles are defined in the broader culture.  Like it or not, men get away with a lot more marginal or downright bad executive behavior than women do, especially if that behavior suggests dominance.  That’s why men are so often seen as BOLD, while women, exhibiting the very same behaviors, are often seen as abrasive.
 
Q:  I know you are a big fan of practicing presentations aloud several times before giving them.  I’ve tried this and the problem I have is that when I give the actual presentation, it sounds rehearsed, like I’m just going through the motions.  How do you deal with that?  
P. N., Atlanta, Georgia

A:  The problem you’re talking about is a real one and is usually brought on by a combination of the following three things.  One is trying to give the presentation exactly as you did during your very best practice session.  In essence, you are trying to “memorize” the presentation.  Don’t do that, it’s not what practice is for.  Practice is to help you with articulation, inflection, and word choice and to get you comfortable with the flow of your story; nothing more.  

A second possible reason for the problem is poor message architecture.  You have not put the elements of your presentation together in a story that logically unfolds and is easy for you to tell.  To fix this, try to remember that the very best presentations are simply-told stories that your audience can intuitively understand.  Finally, there is the problem of relating more to the content of your presentation than the audience you are presenting to.  To avoid this, slow down and make eye contact with those in the audience.  See them as people whose needs you’re there to satisfy.  You’ll be surprised at the energy and spontaneity that comes from that. 

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve read on leadership development comes from Bill George in the April issue of Fast Company Magazine, which was pointed out to me by my friend Paul Hottle, Dean of Chevy Chase Bank’s Leadership Development Program.  In the article, Bill says the hardest person you will ever lead is yourself.  He believes this is true because of the gap between who we want to be and think we are, and how we actually come across to others.  He finds the biggest challenge for all good leaders is to understand this and begin closing the gap through honest feedback and concrete performance improvement actions.  This is also the cornerstone of good executive presence development.  As I tell my workshop participants, you are on the wrong side of your eyes to see your behavior.  That’s why it’s so important to actively seek honest feedback and develop a plan of action based on it.

Executive Presence Workshops.  In addition to on-site or corporate-specific workshops, Executive Performance Solutions, Inc. is now offering Executive Presence Workshops open to the public.  The workshop schedule through June of 2008 will be posted on the website www.executivepresence.com later this month.  Participants will be able to register and pay by credit card directly from the site. 

New Alliances.  I’m really pleased to announce two new business alliances.  The first is with SellXL, www.sellxl.com, a training provider for those wanting to be more effective when selling at the executive level.  In addition to making you aware of the SellXL offering, we are also creating a two-day workshop that combines executive presence development with executive sales training.  We believe this workshop will provide one of the most powerful executive sales training tools available.  Please stay tuned for more about it with a planned launch in the first quarter of 2008. 

The second alliance is with DRESS CODE, an image consulting firm.  This alliance provides you with a great source of image and style advice and the option to have their program combined with our two-day Executive Presence Workshop. They can be reached at 404.775.7475.  Please let them know you found your way to them through us.

I’ll be back with you in 2008.  Until then, my very best wishes for a happy, healthy, and joyous holiday season.

Paul 

Paul is available as a speaker for corporate and trade association meetings. Executive presence workshops are available onsite at your location and in open workshops in Atlanta, Georgia. Executive presence coaching is offered in individual and group coaching sessions.

For more information, contact Paul at 404-851-9699 or paul@executivepresence.com.

You may review previous e-Tips in the Resource Library or view articles on executive coaching written by Paul Aldo.